4 Days to go!

Whoop,Whoop!!!!! Only 4 more days, till I get to be in his arms again!!!!!!! My word, this feels like an eternity!

• Now, there is a song that we have........ And normaly he says it's from him to me, but today this is how I feel!

Hearts, burning like they were on fire

Lanes, changing our love to desire.....

Hey, my heart is screaming to say, girl,we got to go all the way....

I need more of you, changing my rain into sun

More of you, putting my blues on the run.

I need more of you,darling I need more of you.

More, anything less wouldn't do!

We, ain't been together to long

It's strange, How did our love get so strong?

There's, nothing to keep us apart,

We got to catch up to our hearts!

I need more of you, changing my rain into sun,

More of you, putting my blues on the run.

I need more of you, darling I need more of you,

More, anything less wouldn't do!!!!

• I am smitten! I can't help it, I don't care what other people say!


• I only wish that are more people on earth that can experience this feeling.....


• This is my 'high'!


• He is my 'high'!

My love.......

Eternally yours!

Conversations.......

Man, this is killing me........ He is SSSOOOO far away from me...... I mean distance wise, not deep inside.....

• We are miles and miles apart


• But, we are actually one........


• I mis his touch, his breath on my skin, his eyes on me....


• Only one week, then he will be here for a few days!


• Just a week.......


• my heart is beating faster and faster when I think that he will be here then


• How did I become this person I am now?

He awakened all of my senses with one look and one touch!

So, when we speak over the phone we are talking house hunting....... and I'm ecstatic.... I'm stil married, but are looking so forward in beginning a new life.......

So I'm of tommorrow to give my (ex)husband a letter that I wrote for him, and I am crossing fingers that he understands where I'm coming from and that we can solve this thing without too much hiccups and stress!

I love you Mr xoxoxo

Progress......

• Well, om Monday we went to see the marriage councelour....... I was so terrified..... Opening up to a stranger? Phew, tall order for me who keeps everything to myself.


• It was actually fine, no monster jumping out from behind the couch and biting my head off.


• I opened up and let out sooooo many stuff that was in there. It felt lebberated!


• She also told me that I have to get myself healed before I cam move on.....


• So he was not very impressed, but there is nothing that he can do to change my mind!


• i have NEVER felt so headstrong and focussed on what I need and what I want to do!

Now, this morning when i left the house to go and meet my scrapbuddies, I was on such a high!!!! I was singing and dancing(yes) in the car on my way to the class! I got some funny glances, but WTH I don't dive a damn!

I have life back, I feel on top of the world and on cloud nr9! And it is all because of one appointment!

• Now back to Mr Bushwacker..... He is constantly on my mind! If I hear his chime on my phone, I start getting the shakes! Good shakes!


• I can see us doing all this nice things together, like normal day to day stuff!


• Making a herb garden for nice food, creating dishes in the kitchen, playing with our kids in the pool and out in the backyard....


• Going for walks on the beach, with the kids playing in the waves, dogs running wild......


• hugging each other, in the sunset on the beach


• Kissing him under the shining moon!


• What more can a girl want? He makes my heart beat, to the same rythm as his heart!


• He touches my hand and I feel like I'm on fire........


• My heart skips a beat when I here him on the other side of the phone


• I find him the most sexy man I have ever laid my eyes(and hands) on...... because he 'gets' me


• I don't have to be someone I'm not, I can just breath around him!


• For years I have had so many defences built up around me, but wih one look he broke them all down! With one dance I was al his! No doubt about that!


• My everything belongs to him!!!!!!!


• I love him eternally!

Well that"s all for now.........

How's this????

Well, listening to some music, I nearly fainted when I heard this one! This is his'wife' he says, loves her music to bits. Juanita de Plessis. Is dit jy? Dit was lank gelede Ek onthou nog jou soen Maar ons was nog so jonk Wou nog so baie doen Het my lewe lank altyd gewonder, geraai Wie die regte een sou wees Met jou foto steeds teen my kamermuur Staan jy jare later hier Is dit jy wat weer in my drome dwaal Is dit jy, Is dit jy wat weer in my kop kom maal Want ek dink net aan jou Is dit jy wat my hart in jou hande hou Is dit jy, Is dit jy wat die son weer om my sal vou Want ek dink, ja ek dink net aan jou Soos die suidewind, het jy deur my kom waai In 'n oogwink, het jy als omgedraai Toe jy my kom groet met jou glimlag soet Kon ek dit in jou oe lees Al was dit al die jare terug of hier en nou Dis bedoel om te wees! If these words does not say it all, I don't know..........

Being apart

Now, as you can see, I am quite smitten with this awesome man! There is this saying: 'Over the wall with sokkies and all'...... We'll guess what, that is me. My world has been turned upside down in a matter of 2 weeks. And the only regret I have is that it is hurting my daughter. No, not a regret, just hurting for her part. My husband, well that's a totally different story. He is a very strong-willed person and I have always been told what to do and when to do it by him. If I had dared to do things differently then, I would hear it and also I would hear that I am good enough. I have been verbally abused for years! But, the biggest thing for me was that the things that I loved dearly in life, was made out as petty stuff. I was contained in a box where he wanted me. And so, when I told him that it is over, he was dumbstruck! How on earth can little old me pluck up the courage to do something as life-changing like this? Not me, not this little contained, not good enough girl. But you know, I am NOT that contained little girl....... I am a person in own right! I have passions, needs, life! And when I am with my'cuz' he ignites the very core of me!!!!! I feel like I am all I can be! Vibrant, sexy, loved (oh sooooo loved)! I don't have to stand back for everybody or everything! When I hear this man talking on his phone(doing business) my heart swells with pride for him! He is professional, to the point about what he wants, and when he works, he works damn hard!!! I can see his eyes light up when he speaks about a project, and I know that he is living his passion. I want to share that with him! Be there when things are smooth sailing, and when he has problems with whatever....... My heart belongs to this man! I only feel one heartbeat, that of ours together. Even when we are in each others arms our selective hearts beat with the same rythem! I am keeping this diary so that one day, we can show our kids what happend...... And they will understand why it happened! If your soulmate is out there (and believe me they are) you will meet him/her. When you least expect too!

And so it all began........

This blog is more for myself than anybody else...... to document where no-one knows of me. My (our) story, begins at where I am at the age of 10. I had this attraction, name it magical, for my cuz...... That's something hey..... Well, it turned out he felt the same'magic'. We ended up one year being 'kissing cousins'! Our aunt caught us once in the caravan and said that 'you should not be doing that'. Well, that did not stop us...... We were just children and were on family vacation over Christmas and boy did we have a ball! Now, jump ahead a few years....... As we grew older, we knew that this is a very taboo subject, and something that is just not done. He got married, I got married.... Both of us twice...... We have seen each other a few times over the years, but has always kept back that magical feeling, cause it's just not done. Now we get to two weeks ago....... I was walking in a Mall with my mother and sister and all of a sudden I picked up he was going to walk past me...... Instinctively I grabbed his arm as he passed me. He saw me and gave me a hug and quick kiss like cousins do....... BUT I could feel the magic! I was all jittery and excited, OMW, what was going on? Now just remember, I am still married..... But my husband and I are having problems....... I get an sms asking if his got the right number.... and I say yes! And by the way, you are looking good! Well, one sms led to another and as we say, the rest is history! Now I was going to sleep over at my mom, and we are chatting up a storm via sms...... So I convinced my sis and her hubby to go out for the evening. And so I also tell him that we might be going out, and that he is more than welcome to join us if he wants to. Well, that was the beginning of this whole story! As soon as I laid eyes on him in that bar, my whole body started buzzing and all the magic just came out! While picking up my Savanna, my fingers brushed onto his and I knew I was in deep SHIT!!!!!! I was like a very naughty teenager..... But, you know what, I could swear I see him react to me too...... When we eventually got to the tiny dancefloor, it was over and done with! The electricity was so bouncing between us, that we could help ESKOM and supply all the African lands! I was fighting my feelings bigtime, and the more I did that, the deeper I got stuck! After that we decided to go to another danceplace and there it was just the same, but even more electricity! My sis and her hubby wanted to go home, and I desperately wanted to dance some more...... and so did he! So I turned on all my psycological charm and told my brother-in-law that if he really wants to go home, I can not stop him, but it really would be nice if we could 'kuier' some more. Well on our way 'home' I get an sms to say that he had a nice time and was wishing that we could also join him some more...... And then my brother-in-law decides that we could just as well go have some more fun! Oh boy! I was over the moon!!!!! As we came down the road my cuz was just heading for the door to go in at the club, and he looked up and i could see the reaction in his eyes! Bloody hell, I was excited like I have never felt before!!!!!!! So this is where the fun begins, because we started 'langarm' dancing, and I knew it was to late to turn back! I felt alive in his arms....... He awakened senses in me that I did not even know I had! I floated in his arms, and he smelled so sexy!!!!!!! We did not have to say what we were felling....... And we had a whale of a time!!!!!! So this is difficult to grasp, but after all these years we still feel the same. Ok, so we have been sms'ing, e-mailing, kissing, making passionate love OMG!!!! The stuff that movies are made off....... He has been in and out of the country... And each day our feelings are just getting stronger for each other! When Destiny has a date with you, she will find you!!